Go On, Son!

I finally caught the Aresenal-Chelsea draw that I was supposed to watch at the Imperial Palace last Sunday at the end of a long bender. It was being replayed late-night on Fox Soccer Channel and even though I knew the score and even when the goals were to come, it was a cracking spectacle nonetheless (Essien's equaliser was, dare I say, Gerrard-ian). Made even better by the fact this particular replay was FSC's "fan" game where die-hards of each team do commentary.

It's hilarious to listen to. They crack on each other's players. Their views of tackles and whistles totally divergent, shouts of "Well done!" mingling with "What rubbish." It magnified my enjoyment of the game exponentially. And I want to do it. I want to sit in a booth with and Angel fan and announce an A's-Halo game. It wouldn't be much different from Anaheim's usual duo of Steve Physioc and Rex Hudler, who treat the home team like sanitary-clad dieties who have never made a single mistake in their entire careers, who treat every RBI bloop as a game-winner in the deciding game of the World Series.

Based on every interaction I've ever had with an Angel fan, I imagine it'd go something like this.

Joe Speaker: Santana is really struggling. He can't locate his fastball and the A's hitters are sitting on his off-speed stuff.
Angel Fan: Rally Monkey!
JS: There's another hard-hit ball and the A's increase their lead to 4-1.
AF: Me like baseball! Weeeeeeeee!
JS: Would you like a cookie?
AF: No, but do you have any thundersticks? Or paste? I like to eat paste.

Okay, maybe that's not gonna be exciting enough for my local FOX affiliate to implement. How about I go up in the booth with Hudler himself?

Rex Hudler: The Angels are looking to get their "frenzy" hitting shoes on.
Joe Speaker: Rex, that "frenzy" hitting thing hasn't been happening for four years. This is one of the worst offensive teams in baseball.
RH: Scioscia really likes to put pressure on the opposing defense.
JS: By having his hitters make outs?
RH: This is not a team that likes to walk.
JS: No, it's a team that likes to swing at balls, preferably early in the count, and make quick outs. That's why they're 5 games out with 20 to play.
RH: I'd rather be 5 out than 5 games ahead at this point in the season. It's better to be hunting than looking over your shoulder.*
JS: You do realize you just advocated being on the wrong end of a 10 game swing, right?
RH: Frenzy!

*Rex Hudler has actually said this on numerous occasions